Dear Michael Fassbender:
The Oscar nominations were announced this morning. Alas, your name was not among those listed for the category “Actor In a Leading Role”.
I’m sure you’re probably feeling okay — let’s face it, I think any nomination for Shame from the Academy was a long shot — but if you find you need to be consoled (read: make out a little bit), let me know.
Your friend,
Jasmine
